As the nation once again mourns the death of a President, my thoughts have returned over and over this weekend to First Lady Betty Ford. Consistently over the last few days, people have acknowledged the love between the President and First Lady, and that she is one of the great gifts that the President brought to this nation.

Few people know the story of how the First Lady, with the support of the Ford family, stepped forward in the battle against HIV/AIDS, long before any other President or First Lady. She was among the first to acknowledge the epidemic and to offer her support publicly. She did so during very troubled times and gave us hope to continue to fight the battle.

We only have to remember how difficult it was in 1985. The President hadn’t even mentioned the word AIDS. Many insurance companies refused to pay out benefits claiming HIV was a “self-inflicted” disease. Dentists, undertakers, physicians and others refused to provide services to those who were sick and in need. Many refused to invite people with HIV to their homes for social gatherings. A quarantine of persons with AIDS was discussed as serious public policy. People got sick and died within weeks or months. With the exception of a few political heroes and heroines, most turned their back on the epidemic. It was a horribly dark time.

In Los Angeles, AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) was struggling to fund the treatment and care of hundreds of new HIV cases each month. Money was always short and the need just kept growing for such basics as healthcare, food and hospice care. In 1985, in the shadow of Rock Hudson becoming ill with AIDS, the organization decided to host a huge black-tie dinner in a frantic attempt to raise funds to meet the urgent crisis. The question was how to break through all the fear and stigma and get mainstream Los Angeles to support this proposed dinner.

The breakthrough began when Los Angeles Times society columnist Marylouise Oates, who had many friends with AIDS, called Walter Annenberg’s daughter Wallis, who was a key figure in Los Angeles power circles. Marylouise asked her to co-chair the dinner and she agreed. As Marylouise and Wallis made plans, it dawned on them to have Wallis call First Lady Betty Ford to ask her to co-chair the dinner. The Annenberg’s had been long time friends of the Ford family.

First Lady Ford immediately agreed to not only co-chair the dinner but to attend the event. No President or First Lady had agreed to lean their credibility and power to fight AIDS up to this point. She was the first. Immediately, with Wallis Annenberg and First Lady Ford as co-chairs, the “Commitment to Life Dinner” became the hottest event in Los Angeles and sold out, becoming the first million dollar fundraiser for APLA.

The evening was impressive, with countless Hollywood stars and most of the city’s social elite. But no one who was present will ever forget First Lady Betty Ford’s courage and dignity during her opening remarks, which moved us all to tears. It was a turning point in our ability to raise funds for people with AIDS in Los Angeles and nationally. After that amazing first evening, the annual dinner became one of the most prestigious events in Los Angeles.

For a Republican First Lady to co-chair the event when President Reagan hadn’t even mentioned HIV/AIDS was a historic and courageous act. When President Ford was asked about his wife co-chairing this event, which generated some backlash from the religious right, he simply said how proud of her he was and that the entire family supported her presence at the APLA dinner.

As we mourn the President, we should never forget the brave actions of his wife Betty in the battle against AIDS at a time when no one was standing by our side. She stood up. President Ford supported her. Lives where changed and saved.