Neil Giuliano has already lived about six different lives with distinction. Just over a year ago, he was appointed President of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), the nation’s only LGBT media advocacy organization. Before his current position, he served as a popular and successful openly gay mayor of Tempe, Arizona, for four terms. As mayor, Neil became a powerful spokesperson for LGBT elected officials nationwide and gained the respect and admiration of leaders in government around the country.

This last week, Neil’s considerable skills and talents were called upon to deal with the significant controversy surrounding ABC’s hit show Grey’s Anatomy and actor Isaiah Washington’s unfortunate comments. Today, Neil shares his personal feelings regarding the crisis, and some details regarding the leadership his organization provided on behalf of the LGBT community. We are grateful, in the midst of his ongoing work, that he found time to write this week’s In Your Own Words for the blog, but that is so like Giuliano. He always has time for everyone.

Grey’s Anatomy, Mr. Washington, GLAAD and Me

Someone called earlier this week after seeing me on CNN and asked if I had any idea a week ago that this situation with Isaiah Washington would become such a big story. I had to honestly answer: yes. I knew the minute I saw it.

Like many others, I could not believe what I heard when I tuned in to Access Hollywood on the day after the Golden Globe Awards.

Footage from the press room at the Golden Globes showed Washington, co-star of ABC's hit series Grey’s Anatomy, grabbing the microphone in response to a reporter's question about an on-set argument referencing castmate T.R. Knight last October. “No, I did not call T.R. a fa**ot," he said. "Never happened. Never happened.”

Like many others who saw the incident, my emotions went from shock to outrage in a nanosecond. To attempt to defend oneself using the same offensive word you had been accused of using in the first place is totally unacceptable and only makes matters worse.

Unlike others, as the president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), it was important for me to move from rage to constructive engagement – requiring considerably more deliberate focus. Within minutes of seeing the clip and talking with my staff, both our immediate next steps and our longer-term objectives were clear. As the media advocacy and anti-defamation arm of the LGBT movement, GLAAD works to ensure fair, accurate and inclusive representation of LGBT people and events in the media. Our responsibility to our mission and to the communities we serve was two-fold: to rise up, visibly challenge this incident in the media and create a national discussion about anti-gay slurs and bigotry, and to engage the individual responsible in our ongoing work to create public awareness and understanding about the destructive impact of anti-gay prejudice.

We initiated a high-profile media campaign to focus attention on this slur and the hurt it inflicts. We issued a statement condemning Washington's repeated use of the slur, demanded that he apologize, and requested an in-person meeting to discuss the situation. And we made it clear that an apology was necessary but not sufficient to repair the damage and Washington's relationship with our community. Washington would need to do more than stop being part of the problem; he had a responsibility to become an active part of the solution.

We also opened some backchannel communication with contacts close enough to the situation within the TV industry to have knowledge, and who could provide access to information that would otherwise be near impossible to obtain.

In the first few appearances and interviews following the release of our public statement, I reiterated our outrage and repeated my desire to meet with Washington face to face. Then, a week ago Thursday night, just 30 minutes prior to appearing live on the CNN Paula Zahn show while in the car on the way to the studio, we received word that Washington was about to release a statement apologizing and agreeing to meet with me. I read his statement on my blackberry as we pulled up to the Time Warner center in NYC. Clearly, the focus of the interview had just changed and I would need to refocus my messages as well.

On Monday, January 22, I sat down with Washington and GLSEN's Kevin Jennings in Los Angeles. Washington was genuine, apologized and said that the incidents are not what he is all about, not at all, and he didn’t know where that came from, but he was going to get help and find out because it was all so very wrong. He agreed to work with both organizations in the future to educate others to the hurt caused by anti-gay slurs and bigotry.

On Wednesday of this week, we learned that Isaiah has checked in to a behavioral center to deal with his issues. Sure, there is a PR effort underway of course, but from meeting with him, I believe his need for working through his issues is real and I am pleased he is getting the help he needs.

At the same time, it is important to note the strong bravery of T.R. Knight who has had to personally endure through this entire situation. Communication with him and his representatives indicates he is doing well and that is good to know.

The opinions about the entire affair are of a wide range with strong emotions. One thing we know: we must not soon forget this incident. There will be more media coverage of this unfortunate story, so GLAAD will stay engaged and continue the public education and awareness that will lead to changing hearts and minds.

But the story must evolve from that of one celebrity actor who greatly offended millions of people and his problems, to one of a society that needs to have an ongoing discussion about the use of anti-gay slurs and the anti-gay bigotry that still exists.

Yesterday on a lay-over while traveling from the west to east coast, a friend called to say his workplace lunchroom conversation was all about the incident, with people citing personal situations and examples of similar outbursts, now recognizing the real hurt, the denigrating and offensive nature, of such anti-gay language. He said people’s views changed, his peers had never had such a discussion.

It won’t make the front page or evening news, but that is the big story.