June is the month.

People all over the world are having weddings from elaborate celebrations to intimate seaside services. Some ceremonies are deeply based in faith and others are worldlier with nature playing witness for a couple’s commitment.

But what is most important to understand is that legally all of them are civil unions and the faith part is simply a choice many couples make between themselves. Marriage is not and never has been a religious institution in our society. Faith-based organizations have created rituals to celebrate the legal pairing of a couple by the government. Some faiths have embraced same sex couples in those rituals.

All of this makes our recent victories around marriage a cause of celebration. We have had quite a month. Our long bitter struggle for marriage is starting to pay off and it is clear that we are beginning to turn the corner. There is no question that there is a long way to go but our willingness to engage in battle and refuse to accept anything less than full equality is inspiring others to join us.

This June has resulted in two historic victories for those of us who believe in marriage. They join others victories in the last year in making the forward march toward marriage equality inevitable.

In Massachusetts last week, the legislature refused to send to the voters the issue of marriage by a five vote margin. Despite an initial set back on the first vote, Mass Equality refused to be intimidated and fought back hard to gain this most recent victory. With amazing grassroots activism combined with a smart political operation, Mass Equality led us to this incredible victory. Key to the success was the unwavering and strong support and lobbying done by Governor Deval Patrick.

This means that marriage is here to stay in Massachusetts and the near 8,000 same sex marriages that have already taken place will stay legal with dignity! Massachusetts will be a place for full equality for the LGBT community.

Equally historic, the New York Assembly passed legislation for full marriage equality this week! Although, the legislation is unlikely to be passed by the State Senate this session, it is a significant first step forward.

When I moved to New York three years ago, with the exception of the astounding team at Empire State Pride Agenda, there was not a person who believed that marriage would ever be passed by the New York State Assembly. I was told point blank by both gay and straight politicians that we would never get the 85 votes needed. This is just another example of how poisonous conventional wisdom can be! 

The New York victory, like Massachusetts, was won the old fashion way: through smart politics, excellent grassroots coalition building and refusing to take no for an answer. Governor Spitzer’s endorsement of marriage equality was a crucial component. His top aide, Sean Maloney, worked brilliantly with Alan Van Capelle of Empire State Pride Agenda and Assembly member Danny O’Donnell who was the legislation’s chief sponsor. 

The Pride Agenda under Van Capelle’s extraordinary leadership had a first rate team in the field both politically and in coalition building. It is one of the best I have seen in 40 years of politics. The Board, Staff and leadership of the Pride Agenda deserves enormous praise for the blitz they put together. Openly gay Assembly member O’Donnell refused to back down and was an effective leader guiding this legislation through the legislative process.

There are many lessons in these victories. First, victory comes only with money, hard work and great organizing. Second, it is important who we elect to be as our governors. Third, it is reasonable for us to ask candidates to support marriage rights before they are elected and to hold them accountable. Fourth, O’Donnell in New York again proved the power of electing open members of the LGBT community. Fifth, we can win on the issue of marriage equality and it is worth fighting for with all our hearts.