An otherwise brilliant evening of celebration on Tuesday night was made bittersweet by the devastating passage of anti-LGBT amendments in Florida, Arkansas, Arizona and California. None was perhaps more shocking than the passage of Proposition 8 repealing marriage equality in California that was granted by the California Supreme Court. Bigotry has now been placed in the constitutions of both Florida, Arizona and California. A system of apartheid against the LGBT community just keeps building as state after state places in the highest document in the land a separate body of law against only one community. The night was tragic and requires an enormous amount of soulsearching and stamina.

On the other hand, it is extremely important to acknowledge the real victories we had on election night. Empire State Pride Agenda's (ESPA) million dollar campaign to take control of the New York State Senate after decades of Republican's blocking our legislation was successful. We are now one crucial step closer to marriage in that State. This coming week, Connecticut will begin marrying members of the LGBT community. Because of the election, we are also closer in New Jersey to achieving marriage. We are continuing to make progress one step at a time. I remember those harsh days when we couldn't even get people in our own community to fight for marriage and now we have moved into striking distance of making marriage equality a reality in a number of states.

In many ways, sitting here in Turkey Hollow, it is easier for me to have a perspective and certainly easier to retreat into nature to heal from the hate. I am quite aware of that so I proceed with my thoughts very carefully. Along with other talented people in California in the past, we have defeated two statewide anti-gay initiatives in 1978 and in 1986. So we do have the knowledge that we can win these hateful ballot measures in the toughest of circumstances. But no one promised any of us that it would be easy, or without enormous struggle. We are in the fight for freedom, equality and justice. The battle has been waged over my forty years in public life and never have I seen it come without setbacks and heartbreak, even including, the loss of life.

Firstly, I know that today, many who gave so much of their lives to defeat these horrible ballot measures are feeling empty and beaten by the losses. Some might even be feeling hostility from angry members in our community who had such high hopes for passage. That hostility could not be more inappropriate. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart. Every single leader, volunteer, team member, etc. who left their jobs, donated their talents and, as a gift to this community, give their energy, passion, and soul to defeat the injustice. They worked day and night to give us their best. They lost income, precious time with those that they love. As Churchill said, they gave us their 'blood, sweat, and tears". I will personally will be eternally grateful to all of them and know there is a special place in our history for them.

Second, we will all be tempted to immediately fall into the trap of 'common wisdom' discerning why we failed on election day. This is very dangerous as it could take us months to get to the truth of the loss. Now is the time for patience and knowledge. We need facts to find out how to do our job better next time. And those answers require patiently going over the election returns astutely and avoiding quick, 'feel good' proclamations that might lead us into the wrong direction in the future. For example, when the returns are totally completed, we should put together a group of real political experts to see just exactly what happened. Did we have the right ads? Did we attempt to make others love us at the cost of good hard hitting ads? Did we start the right ads soon enough? Did we make the best use of our grassroots network? Did we involve enough people outside our community soon enough? Where we too insular? How did our national leadership and organizations respond and could they have been used better? There are so many questions and quite honestly, given my current knowledge , I simply don't have the answers for these questions at this moment.

Third, I have received from a number of people on this site and in emails, making references to this community as 'losers'. This kind of destructive self-hate only continues our own bondage in the fight of adversity. We are making great progress. We have moved forward at an incredible pace. After celebrating many hard fought victories, when challenged with such a devastating setback, the loss can take the wind right out of our sails. There will be those who want to retreat because of the difficulty of our struggle---We must ignore them. There will be those that want to retreat because it makes our straight allies nervous--We must ignore them. There will be those who are weary, tired and disheartened--We must give them energy and vision.

As we get closer to freedom, we owe it to the next generation not to be hardened but sharpened. Yes, take time, find knowledge, do it better, expand our leadership but never, I say never, quit