Up here in the Hollow we just don't feel or see much anger or rage. Everything, in its way, is for a purpose and fits into the famous circle of life. What 'violence' exists between animals it is about survival and not needless anger. One of the reasons I love the Hollow so much is that it is void of that uncontrolled violence and rage that we often see outside this tranquil place. I am sometimes taken aback by needless ire coming from the most surprising sources. Given these moments I have to work hard to avoid joining their chorus and maintain my own calm individuality and peace. It is not always easy.

As you know, I often joked that I came to Turkey Hollow to create an existence for myself similar to Henry David Thoreau and ended up being Dr. Doolittle. Thoreau's essay written in 1849 called "On Civil Disobedience" in which he refused to pay his taxes because of the unjust Mexican - American War always has been one of my favorites. While he lived as a naturalist in Walden Pond he did not shut himself off from the outside world. He struggled to find a balance between his individual path while championing the human spirit and finding his rightful place in a greater world. Absorbing the nature around him, he spoke passionately about his beliefs but never in anger.

Gandhi is another one of my heroes. One of my favorite lines from him is that our words sometimes have more power than our actions. That we must chose what we say carefully because just simple words have led to wars, bitterness and misunderstanding. I have been imperfect and often failed in my efforts to live the teachings of these wise men. There are many times I have regretted my words and actions and have attempted to take those moments to grow and learn from my inappropriate behavior. However, I have the strength of knowing that I attempt to do better every day and am getting closer to the spirit of non-violence.

This week in the astonishing beauty of the Obama victory there has been a lot of rage and anger around the passage of Proposition 8 in California. Trust me, I felt a great sense of disappointment and loss and am struggling with how we proceed and build without becoming filled with venom and distrust like our opponents. I don't want to become like our oppressors. Then my mailbox and comments section on my blog filled with hateful comments towards African-Americans, Mormans and Hispanics. Some of it was every bit as vile as our oppressors. I am against censoring the comments but had to remove some of them because of the hate that I just did not want seeping out into the world. Many of them were personal attacks for my beliefs.

Sparing you the worst, let me share a few examples: This gentleman seems to think calling me names will create some change or rid the world of me or make the planet a more gentle and perfect place.

"While there is much to celebrate, there's also much to mourn. Outrageously absent on Mixner's winners and losers list was the gay community as a whole. Mixner is a petty, vindictive, sophomoric political whore whose vitriol is little better than that of the right-wing nuts he bashes. I read his column from time to time for entertainment, but as a gay leader, he's become irrelevant."

Posted by: Mike Marrotta | Nov 6, 2008 8:51:07 AM

Now, I feel strongly that Mr. Marrotta has every right to express his views and left it in the comment section. Not entirely sure what a "political whore" is about since I don't get paid and refuse to accept appointments but in using that terminology I am afraid that by connecting me with sexual workers he has inadvertently denigrated the sexual workers more than me.

At least he has the courage and honesty to sign his full name and he has my full respect for that. I know he feels passionately about the world and only wish he could find some sort of more peaceful and gentle way of expressing his passion. Now "Bruce" writes often into the comment section and always rages against me. He feels he knows what I am thinking, what I should do and what knowledge I have. It is amazing to me that he has all this information since I have never engaged in dialogue with him about my current state of mind. The poor man never signs his last name and hides in the anonymity of his bitterness.

"Come on PLEASE - some balance and maturity? On TOP of the "Losers" list - way above McCain and Palin should be EDWARDS and all the people who were fooled by him and donated hard earned money. Second, the LGBT community got slaughtered. Progressive coalition?? Huh? 70% of African Americans voted in CA to deny LGBT Americans basic rights and 80% of Latinos (CNN Exit poll). Now Democrats have the President, and Senate, and House. Lets see about ENDA, Don't ask, Don't Tell, Repeal of DOMA etc - Time to deliver! I hope you have the maturity to hold them accountable. I disagree vehemently with the above comment that you are irrelevant - but lets see how you address Prop 8 and the lack of minority support on your next posting (we are all waiting) and lets see you "monitor" LGBT progress this year. If you are just a left wing mouth piece - you are irrelevant. You now have no more Bush/ Republicans to blog about......I hope you are prepared to demonstrate at the White House again if Pres Obama and the Dems do not deliver. Barack Obama is our President and I am 100% with him. I'm watching......."

Posted by: Bruce | Nov 6, 2008 10:31:28 AM

Although it appears that this might be someone I know, I truly have no idea who Bruce is. However both of these people do everything but one thing: They fail to take responsibility for making change themselves. How much better instead of 'watching me' to make sure I do what they want me to do, that they do it themselves? If they feel it is important for someone to demonstrate at the White House fence then they should do it. If they feel I am an irreverent political whore then they really shouldn't waste their time on me and instead create their own mission and share it with the world. I feel bad that my words have enraged them so that they have wasted their time with such anger directed to me.

For me, I will always struggle to do better but it is an individual struggle and not one built upon consensus to be admired or met with universal approval. I reserve the right to be wrong and yes, also right. Most of all, as did Thoreau, I will strive live within my own values, principles and individuality at peace with nature and at peace with myself. That is a very good feeling. Very good, indeed.