In my lobby here in Hell's Kitchen, they have put up a Christmas tree. I literally froze in my tracks and couldn't believe that this week is Thanksgiving. Where in the hell has time gone this year? Wasn't it just last month that I decorated my tree in the wind-driven snows of Turkey Hollow? To have to think about the holidays, my role in them in Hell's Kitchen and figure out exactly what happen to all my time this year literally took my breath away.

Growing up in the country the days seemed to last forever. Up at sunrise to the sound of tractors plowing or the winds howling across the open fields to our farm house. Time was my friend. Could plan a long day of adventures, naps and exploring the mysteries of the forests. There would be the lunch at the kitchen table and then plenty of time to roam across the fields to the pond and make nature my playground. As the sun set, I was exhausted from such a long day and the hot dinner followed by a bath made me ready to take the day's events into my dreams at night.

In middle age, time did go by faster. There was work and one had to schedule vacations and playtime mixed with the little pleasures of life such as reading, sex and the arts. Visions of being an author were just that - visions hindered by own lack of self esteem. Never could I hope to have a book published or a play written let alone two screenplays - some written with co-writers who became dear friends. Besides, even if I could sneak past my lack of belief in my writing skills, where in the world would I find the time?

However, in that middle of life period I deeply believed that as I got older, more established and more financially secure I would have plenty of time to be the leisure writer and the country gentlemen. How wrong could I have been? No one told me that as you grow older time moves quicker even if you have less to do. There is something inherent about our body clocks that speed up as we get older. Yes, I have become a writer. But the closest thing to being a country gentlemen was not an estate with landscaped lands but a small house in a place called Turkey Hollow where I threw apples out to the deer!

Being older has required that I streamline my 'things to do' list in the world. Although my list is still impressive and the opportunity to cross items off is still real, I have an overwhelming sense of how fast time is moving now. Where my middle age was filled with people dying of HIV/AIDS, my friends now are making the transition through normal aliments. This was supposed to be the period where I had 'all the time in the world' to achieve those dreams that I put off until I had time in my senior years.

Except now the time is like the Indianapolis 500 Race traveling at record breaking speed. As I age, far from a life of leisure, this damn recession lingers, keeping everyone financially insecure. Health suddenly limits your abilities and narrows your 'things to do' list. One makes decisions to explore new lands or to return to favorite places. There is barely time for new friends let alone quality time with old friends. You have to plan carefully or you will wake up one day and see that Christmas tree in the lobby and realize that yet another year as slipped past you.

They should have told me . They really should have told me. On the other hand, back then I doubt very much if I would have listened.

Enjoy.