As a person who in my closeted years made up girlfriends in order to deal with questions about my dating life, my first thought on hearing the sad story of Manti Te'o(the Notre Dame star football player) is that he might have done the same thing. By creating a girlfriend and then killing her off would enable him to deal with peers on the dating questions. This morning it was revealed that a handsome football player and a good friend from his high school years might have been part of this tragic situation.
The star football player is now up for the football draft and his managers are staying mum. The pressure on this young man must be unbearable no matter what his sexual orientation.
Michelangelo Signorile has written a powerfully sympathetic and moving column about Manti Te'O's and the consequences if he is gay. He writes:
"If Manti Teo is gay, I'm worried about him. If the Notre Dame linebacker at the center of the "girlfriend hoax" story indeed constructed an elaborate cover story for his gay closet, as so many gay men do in worlds that demand they be heterosexual, the emotional jolt of humiliation and embarrassment at being exposed will be overwhelming. We've seen too many young people, particularly with backgrounds like Te'o's, growing up in the conservative, anti-gay Mormon church, pushed against the wall by homophobia and going to extreme lengths in denying their homosexuality, sometimes even harming themselves.
Cyd Zielger at Outsports was among the first to raise the possibility that Teo is gay, as the question exploded on social media. Ziegler came on my radio program yesterday and explained that sports writers were calling him asking if it was a possibility, trying to figure out what would drive someone to engage in such an elaborate hoax -- if indeed T'eo was in on it. Teo and Notre Dame have said he was not involved and was the vicitim of a cruel hoax in which he was led to believe a woman he never met but had an online relationship with for years actually existed, got in a car accident, was eventually discovered to have leukemia and died. But too many strands of the story don't add up if T'eo was the victim of a hoax perpetrated by others. Even if he was not in on it, he appears to have lied at the very least, having said he had met the woman.
If Te'o were gay, why would a closeted gay man go to such extremes? I asked the question on my radio program yesterday and the phones lit up with gay men who'd done exactly the same thing, or were still engaged in it. Living in conservative parts of the country or working in professions in which they believe they'd be fired if it became known they are gay, they construct elaborate stories of girlfriends or wives who never quite make it to company functions -- or who do, but are really good friends who stand in as girifriends or wives. (One of those "fake-date" women called the show too)."