First and foremost, let me be clear. Anyone that is objectified for their appearance, harassed or belittled is appalling. Trust me I understand that sexually harassing people or judging them based on appearance alone is wrong. Don't do it.
Now also let me be honest.
I want to be viewed as a sex object. At least give me a day!
Yep, that is right. I said it. I want to be a sex object.
Want to turn heads as I go down the street. Bring on the construction workers whistling at me. Have people sneak photographs of my tight fitting jeans, ample package and buns to die for! Want my eyes to melt and pierce other men hearts. Want those masculine straight men looking at each other and saying "I'll do that one"! Yep, they don't have to know my IQ, my politics, my spiritual beliefs or if I treat animals kindly. Just savior me and judge me for my body.
I know, I know, I should want to be judged on my brilliant mind and thoughtful ways. Gladly I would give them up for just one day of walking around making people walk into each other as they turn to take a second look. Want that powerful sexuality oozing from me so that they don't care if I am a Democrat or right-wing Republican. In fact, they so badly want to be with me they give up their party identification for just a moment with me.
Give me that genie lamp to rub and let me magically appear for twenty-four hours as 6'4' with sixty-two abs, legs like lamp posts and arms that threaten to burst out of any normal shirt. Let that face make Helen of Troy look like a piker and have nations fight wars over it. Have that smile make other men weak in the knees and slay many hearts. Have my eyes open any door and invites to any party. Oh yea, I know it is like the dream sequence with Bobby in Dallas but so what!
Oh well, it is fun fantasy but in the end I want to be respected for who I am and what I have done with my life.
When you really think about it is there anything more sexy than a good mind, a great heart and a hearty laugh? Isn't it sexy to see someone help that old man across the street, fall in love with a tiny kitten or feel comfortable in their own skin? Sexy is when a person is confident, finds joy in the darkest moments and can quote to you in a dimly lighted room Neruda from his memory. Sexy is when you help others, believe in peace and want everyone to be equal.
When you look at that way I am as sexy as hell. Come on and look at it folks. This is one hot man.
Sexy is having a grand old time writing this column and laughing the entire time I write it. Hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed it writing it.