Oct 6 2013





You all can now call me Father Mixner or the Right Reverend Mixner since I am now officially in the eyes of the law a minister that can officiate at weddings. Previously I have been honored to be at 'commitment ceremonies' but this was the first real same sex wedding that I have officiated with a certificate to prove it was legal!

Let me share with you that it was a total thrill and I was on the verge of tears all night long at this beautiful event that quite honestly I never thought I would see.

James Andrew Sands and Anthony (Tony) Patrick Lakavage tied the knot last night at the newly opened Skylark on Fashion Ave in New York City. In a venue that overlooked the entire city (especially Times Square and the Empire State Building!), it was an extraordinary beautiful and moving moment.

The wedding was for most in the room, including many LGBT attendees, their first same sex wedding. Much to Tony and James credit they wanted to be sure to remind their well dressed guests that this moment didn't arrive easily. Over and over again, without becoming political, they reminded everyone that a same sex couple getting married still have a pioneering aspect to it.

The New York Gay Men's Chorus wowed the guests with selections that brought tears to everyone's eyes. In fact, men singing from the chorus led the grooms down the aisle! The couple wanted to be sure that Father Mixner reminded those present of all those who had made it possible for them to be in the room last night.

For me, besides watching two friends deeply in love get married and having the honor to perform the ceremony for them, was at the end when I said "By the power invested me by the President of the United States, the United States Supreme Court and the people of New York I now pronounced you married for life". The entire room cheered and clapped.

My God, how times have changed.

There was also a message I learned last night. Time and time again last night ( from photographers, waiters, janitors, family and even Tony and Jim's LGBT friends ) people came up to me and said it was their first same sex wedding and how could anyone be opposed to such beauty and love. Even leaving the wedding, there was a building worker in the elevator with me who look at me and said, "You know I was against it but seeing it in person I realize I was somewhat silly. Who cares?"

So if you are engaged and planning to get married come out of the closet with it.

We still are changing minds and any kind of ceremony will help us change those minds. Besides we have worked too hard, too long to get married quietly and out of sight of family and friends. Do your thing no matter if it is in nature, by the beach or all the bells and whistles but include others and help transform the hate in America to love.