Impressions....by David Mixner

 

 

-Well my heart belongs to Tom Brady but my team is the New York Giants for the Super Bowl! This will be the battle of the two 'cover boy' quarterbacks. Go New York Giants Blue!! Outsports.com has proclaimed these teams as two of the most LGBT friendly team in the NFL.

-Romney in one of his speeches said, "I didn't inherit money from my parents. What I have, I earned. I worked hard the American way." Actually Romney did inherit some money from his wealthy parents but says that ten years later he gave it charity. There is another two words someone should ask him about, "Trust Fund".

-The 'bad taste of the year' award goes to the owners of the ill fated Costa Concordia cruise ship for offering the passengers a 30% discount on their next cruise. Really, the idiots really make that offer!

-London's "Telegraph" has an amazing slide show of pictures. All of the pictures are taken on the ship the night of the sinking. Here is one from the hull of the ship as they attempt to escape down its side. Click here to view the others.

-Republican Chris Christie has appointed an African-American gay man to the New Jersey Supreme Court. Mayor Bruce A Harris would be the first openly LGBT appointment in the history of the state.

-Washington State now has enough votes in their State Senate for marriage equality. There are enough votes in the House and Governor Chris Gregoire has promised to sign it. The right wing National Organization for Marriage has promised to take it to the ballot in November if they can get the signatures. The last poll taken showed that the voters would vote for marriage equality by 55% to 38%. Wow.

-Delegate Heather Mizeur from Maryland says that Governor Martin O'Malley will introduce marriage equality legislation today in the Maryland legislature. Here is Delegate Mizeur from the last battle.

 

-The marriage equality news this week is endless. Love, Honor and Cherish in California has started collecting signatures to place repeal of Proposition 8 on the November ballot. This will be an uphill effort given the number of signatures required in a very short time period. If anyone wants to collect signatures click here.

-Jaweed Kaleenm has written an article for The Huffington Post exploring the pay and perks of America's leading Pastors. For example Joel Osteen of the Lakewood Church in Houston doesn't take a salary but is worth tens of millions of dollars. He has a new $10.5 million 17,000 square foot mansion.

-The word from the Sundance Film Festival is that the documentary "How To Survive A Plague" received two standing ovations and is a hit. Bravo to David France and Joy Tomchin!

-Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin has raised over one million dollars in the last quarter of reporting in her effort to become the first ever open LGBT person elected to the United States Senate. Have you make a contribution yet? Click here.

-The Miller Grizzied Langur Monkey has long been believed to be totally extinct. They have recently been discovered in Indonesia.

-Towleroad.com has a great story on Pekka Haavisto who is an openly gay man seeking to be the Presidency of Finland. If he would win he would join Iceland and Belgium as countries with openly LGBT people as head of states. He also have a very handsome partner. Check it out!

-Public Policy Polling shows that of the nation's independent voters that 71% would have no problem voting for an openly LGBT candidate. This is America's largest blocks of voters and a very important statistic.

-Katherine Dean has written for the Huffington Post the places where LGBT couples (at all costs!) should avoid for their honeymoon. Jamaica and Belize are both on the list!

-According to the Harris Poll, Johnny Depp is once again the most popular actor in America. Believe it or not, John 'the Duke' Wayne still places fifth! Go figure.

-"Think Progress LGBT" has a great article by Igor Volsky on Romney's history with the LGBT community when he was running for Governor of Massachusetts. He was so pro-LGBT in that race and even compared our struggle for freedom to that his father fought for African-Americans in the 1960's. So much for principles......

-Gizmodo.com has taken some historical pictures and added color. You can see them all at the site but do you think honest Abe looks better in black and white or color?

David Mixner's Review of 2011 and the LGBT Community

 

 

This week begins a series of looking back at 2011 and giving my thoughts on the year in a number of different ways. Today we begin with the LGBT community and what a year it has been for us. The list could go on and on so please feel free to add your recollections of the year in the comment section! Here goes:

The Year's Biggest Victory: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" officially becomes history.

The Best Speech on LGBT Issues: Secretary Hillary Clinton's Geneva Speech

Best Presidential Order: President Obama's Presidential Memorandum interlocking American Foreign Policy with LGBT human rights.

Best Victory In The States: New York becomes a marriage equality state.

Best Change of Heart: The Justice Department calling for an end to DOMA.

Most Effective Organization: The Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund for an astounding success rate in electing openly LGBT candidates.

Emerging Powerful LGBT Leader: Mayor Annise Parker of Houston

News in 2011 that makes us look forward to 2012: Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin announces she is attempting to become the first openly LGBT person in history elected to United States Senate.

Most Surprising Political News: Congressman Barney Frank announces he is leaving Congress.

Most Effective Straight Allies: Two New Yorkers with Governor Andrew Cuomo directing the successful marriage equality campaign and U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand for staying on top of the effort to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Another Historical Appointment:  Jeremy Bernard appointed as the first man and first LGBT person as White House Social Secretary.  They are still talking in Washington,D.C about his famous Rose Garden Dinner.

Best LGBT YouTube Moment: The Australian marriage equality spot plus the wonderful videos of long term couples getting married in New York!

Requiring the Most Patience: The slow pace of the case to repeal Proposition 8. The California Supreme Court, most likely deliberately, took its time getting a simple opinion back to the Federal Court. Thank God for the Foundation for Equal Rights in keeping everyone's eye on the prize. Thanks again and again Chad Griffin.

The Most Outrageous Villains: The entire field of Republican Presidential candidates who take outrageous positions against LGBT rights while all Americans want are jobs, not hate.

Most Disturbing Trend of the Year: The epidemic of hateful and dangerous legislation sweeping Africa against the LGBT community. Death is now on the table as an option for handling LGBT citizens.

People Who Never Disappoint: Alan Cumming, Judith Light, Rory O'Malley, Gavin Creel, Neil Patrick Harris, Elton John , Ellen DeGeneres, Bruce Cohen, Dustin Lance Black, Cheyenne Jackson and so many others.

Most Fun Unforgettable Moment: Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Tony Awards!

Most Persecuted LGBT American Citizen: Bradley Manning who has been in isolation and without a trial for seventeen months.

Most Unexpected Supporters: The massive amount of Wall Street, Republican and major donor support from conservatives that was organized by Ken Mehlman and Mayor Michael Bloomburg and was a major factor in the passage of marriage equality in New York.

Wow Moment: An openly gay man became the Prime Minister of Belgium for the first time in European history.

The Most Heart Warming Moments: Seeing American LGBT soldiers come out of the closet and marching in Gay Pride Parades, going to events with partners and for the first time being honest with those they serve with in the military. It went flawlessly without a major incident, as the Democrats insisted it would and the Republicans insisted it would not.

The Wait A Minute Moment of the Year: The United States Marines were the most vocal opponents of repeal of DADT and the best implementers of the repeal once it happened.

The Best "About Time" Moment: Witnessing our Transgender brothers and sisters being taken seriously as an issue, the first appointment in Federal Government and becoming more and more visible. It has been inspiring and long overdue.

Five Things To Look Forward To In 2012:

1. Winning the Proposition 8 Case.

2. Senator Tammy Baldwin

3. An active major league gay male jock coming out of the closet.

4. Winning in Maine, Minnesota, Maryland and North Carolina on marriage equality.

5. The Republicans and their hate based approach are defeated at the polls in November

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's Historic Speech On International LGBT Rights

 

 

December 6, 2012 will be remembered as one of the great historic days for LGBT citizens around the world. That is the day that the President of the United States proclaimed in great detail that American foreign policy and the rights of LGBT citizens around the world are intricately linked. Tomorrow morning I will write about the President's actions.

However, soon after the President's proclamation Secretary of State Hillary Clinton spoke in Geneva, Switzerland in an International Human Rights Day speech. Her entire speech to that august body was devoted to international LGBT rights. In a remarkably powerful, moving and historic speech she left no stone unturned. Here are some excerpts and you can read the entire transcript by clicking here. You must read it all.

Now, there is still, as you all know, much more to be done to secure that commitment, that reality, and progress for all people. Today, I want to talk about the work we have left to do to protect one group of people whose human rights are still denied in too many parts of the world today. In many ways, they are an invisible minority. They are arrested, beaten, terrorized, even executed. Many are treated with contempt and violence by their fellow citizens while authorities empowered to protect them look the other way or, too often, even join in the abuse. They are denied opportunities to work and learn, driven from their homes and countries, and forced to suppress or deny who they are to protect themselves from harm.

I am talking about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, human beings born free and given bestowed equality and dignity, who have a right to claim that, which is now one of the remaining human rights challenges of our time. I speak about this subject knowing that my own country's record on human rights for gay people is far from perfect. Until 2003, it was still a crime in parts of our country. Many LGBT Americans have endured violence and harassment in their own lives, and for some, including many young people, bullying and exclusion are daily experiences. So we, like all nations, have more work to do to protect human rights at home.

**************************************

This recognition did not occur all at once. It evolved over time. And as it did, we understood that we were honoring rights that people always had, rather than creating new or special rights for them. Like being a woman, like being a racial, religious, tribal, or ethnic minority, being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights.

It is violation of human rights when people are beaten or killed because of their sexual orientation, or because they do not conform to cultural norms about how men and women should look or behave. It is a violation of human rights when governments declare it illegal to be gay, or allow those who harm gay people to go unpunished. It is a violation of human rights when lesbian or transgendered women are subjected to so-called corrective rape, or forcibly subjected to hormone treatments, or when people are murdered after public calls for violence toward gays, or when they are forced to flee their nations and seek asylum in other lands to save their lives. And it is a violation of human rights when life-saving care is withheld from people because they are gay, or equal access to justice is denied to people because they are gay, or public spaces are out of bounds to people because they are gay. No matter what we look like, where we come from, or who we are, we are all equally entitled to our human rights and dignity.

******************************

The third, and perhaps most challenging, issue arises when people cite religious or cultural values as a reason to violate or not to protect the human rights of LGBT citizens. This is not unlike the justification offered for violent practices towards women like honor killings, widow burning, or female genital mutilation. Some people still defend those practices as part of a cultural tradition. But violence toward women isn't cultural; it's criminal. Likewise with slavery, what was once justified as sanctioned by God is now properly reviled as an unconscionable violation of human rights.

In each of these cases, we came to learn that no practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us. And this holds true for inflicting violence on LGBT people, criminalizing their status or behavior, expelling them from their families and communities, or tacitly or explicitly accepting their killing.

Of course, it bears noting that rarely are cultural and religious traditions and teachings actually in conflict with the protection of human rights. Indeed, our religion and our culture are sources of compassion and inspiration toward our fellow human beings. It was not only those who’ve justified slavery who leaned on religion, it was also those who sought to abolish it. And let us keep in mind that our commitments to protect the freedom of religion and to defend the dignity of LGBT people emanate from a common source. For many of us, religious belief and practice is a vital source of meaning and identity, and fundamental to who we are as people. And likewise, for most of us, the bonds of love and family that we forge are also vital sources of meaning and identity. And caring for others is an expression of what it means to be fully human. It is because the human experience is universal that human rights are universal and cut across all religions and culture.

Read the entire speech

Updated: Here is the video

LGBT: The Tale of Two Women

 

 

Reading the blogs over the last week, came across two women who illustrate the 'best of times and the worst of times' for the LGBT community. One woman who bestows pride by the caliber of her position. The other who defines her fame by the level of her hate directed toward the community. Here are the two:

"The Best of Times....":

Shewired.com brought to my attention the story of the charismatic and professional Commander Kelley Fraser. She is the Commander of the West Hollywood Sheriff's station. Those who have lived in West Hollywood over the years know what a major victory this is for the community. In the 1960's this area was unincorporated and run totally by the County of Los Angeles. Raids and unchecked police harassment by the officers back then was not uncommon. She has been in law enforcement for over 25 years and has served as Commander for the last year. Kelley is a source of great pride.

"The Worst of Times...."

In his most recent column Wayne Besen of "Truth Wins Out" called Linda Harvey "The Most Homophobic Woman In America." Harvey, a former executive of Ohio State hospitals and founder of Mission:America, a "Christian pro-family organization" is now an on-air host of a Christian Radio program. When reading Harvey's statement you understand why Besen has bestowed this competitive title upon the strident and fact-challenged Harvey. She supports boycotting LGBT doctors. She speaks often about supporting the Ugandan campaign to severely punish homosexuals in that nation (including the death penalty). This is what she says about LGBT teachers in the schools:

"These teachers then become role models, in-house activists, and possible confidants for students who want to start homosexual behavior. Student molestation becomes a real risk."

Linda Harvey has defined herself by the intensity of her hate while Commander Kelley distinguishes herself by her character and professionalism.

LGBT: If The Hate Groups Held A Party, Guess Who Would Come? Everyone

 

 

 
 
 The Family Values Summit held their annual 'hatefest' in Washington this weekend. That is not surprising nor was the constant stream of venom pouring out of the mouths of the speakers as they condemned one group of Americans after another that are simply different from them. Seems like each year they gain a little more respectability in the political process while not moderating their stances one inch.

Their ability to be covered as a major news story with all the tenets of respectability is what is disturbing. They are being treated as a legitimate political force that deserves inclusion in the national political dialogue. Of course, everyone has the right to be heard, to express their views no matter how hateful and to have total freedom of speech. However, it is up to Americans not to bestow a mantle of legitimacy on those that abused that freedom to preach hate.

This year set a new low for America.

Not only did every Republican candidate attend this event, they bowed before them and their vile rhetoric. Even Candidate Romney could only muster a mild rebuke when his religion was described as a cult. No matter what you believe about Mormons or Romney, his religion should not be an issue in this election. For that matter, no one's religion should ever be an issue in any election. If someone forcefully attempts to impose their religion on everyone else then that is a different story. Romney even allowed himself to be put in front of Bryan Fischer who says Mormons should not be allowed to be President. Rick Perry basically remained silent as Rev. Robert Jeffress introduced Perry. Jeffress is anti-Mormon and made no secret of it at the conference.

Most importantly the LGBT community time and time again was vilified, rhetorically beaten, and bashed. We were compared to terrorists, pedophiles and dangerous lurking citizens who are a threat to democracy. Did anyone speak up who is running for office? Nope. Did anyone say that there is no room in America for this kind of unchecked hate? Nope. Did anyone have anything at all to say positive about the heroism, strength and beauty of the American LGBT community? Nope.

The Republican candidates, one after the other, dutifully marched like lemmings into the sea of vitriol. The press dutifully covered this disgusting conference even though the values on display were loathsome. Everyone came to their hate fest and everyone was the lesser person because of it. Doubt it? Just listen to the two tapes below of Bryan Fischer's speech who was given the honored spot following Romney's speech and tell me I am wrong.

Marriage Equality: North Carolina Rigs The System

 

 

 

The North Carolina Republican controlled legislature has just swept through legislation that would place a constitutional amendment on the ballot that would not only ban marriage equality but also likely ban civil unions and domestic partnerships. The Republicans (every Democratic in the State Senate voted against this measure) had no time to debate or listen to the consequences of their actions. After all, they are only amending the Constitution of the State of North Carolina. Why waste time on that one?

Doing their best to assure they will win, they changed the date of the vote from next year's general election when all North Carolinians will go to the polls to the May primary when only Republicans will be making their choices for the Presidential race. Talk about an attempt of Soviet style politics. Don't be surprised if they report that 99% of the state approved the amendment given how they are proceeding with the process.

North Carolina is a place where many people I know want to work or do business since it had been building a tolerant climate over the years. This sets back the state's reputation by decades - if not centuries. Why not go for separate lunch counters for us while they are at it?

LGBT Issues: Because We Care Doesn't Mean We Must Be Silent

 

 

 

One would have to have a cold heart and closed mind not to be emotionally moved by the plight of American workers who are unemployed or the 14% of American children who go hungry every day or the young Americans being killed overseas. Every direction we turn these days there are issues that demand our attention.

Even the political situation is disturbing. Disbelief is the only appropriate word that comes to mind as we listen to potential Presidents deny climate change and evolution. Candidates running for President of the United States proclaiming that America is officially a Christian nation or God has chosen them to lead us is scary stuff. Knowing that we could be one step from a theocracy doesn't give many of us peaceful nights of sleep.

Each and every LGBT citizen cares about other issues and certainly realizes that who is in the Oval Office could affect our ability to be free for decades. With President Obama there isn't a chance for a Constitutional Amendment banning marriage equality while a Republican controlled Congress headed by a Republican President could bring back oppression we haven't seen in years. Sometimes times tough decisions are just that tough ones.

There will be increasingly strong pressure placed upon our shoulders by LGBT political allies and even from some of our leaders to remain quiet, not push our issues and hold our breath that the worst choice doesn't win. The implication is that our voices raised in justice are somehow 'bad politics.' Don't believe it and don't buy into it.

The LGBT community and its struggle for freedom gives the Democratic Party and others a moral compass to guide its way to making tough decisions and providing even tougher leadership. In fact, our issues are not the problem - it's those that believe standing by our side will somehow tarnish their reputations. Shrinking from righteousness will only provide glimpses into a weak leader who fails to have a strong moral center. As a community we bring great gifts to this process, great energy to promote change and great idealism for others to enthusiastically embrace.

The young of America get it. They know that the LGBT struggle for freedom is one of the epic civil rights battles of this generation. Far from running from it at election time, they agree it should be put front and center as a sign of moral leadership - to highlight leaders who won't be bullied by the religious right into silence. The extreme right has bullied their way into the political process far too long. The time has come to stop them in their tracks and tell our fellow Americans that their intention to impose their faith beliefs forcibly on the rest of America is just wrong and un American.

Yes, we care about the unemployed and want to help put them back to work. Our hearts break for America's children who go to bed hungry each night. We want America's young to come home from war intact and ready to help rebuild this nation. Give us an opportunity to show how our unique talents can help them all.

However, letting our battle for freedom slide in an election year is a betrayal of those who have given so much before us. Our rights cannot be pushed aside for a year during the campaign. We have battles in Maine, Minnesota and North Carolina that are critical to our future. LGBT candidates are fighting to be mayors and yes, a United States senator. Not only must we amp up our efforts, we must and should expect our allies to be there with their strong voices and resources.

Their silence on marriage equality, the right to be free and hate crimes won't be acceptable to us. Justice, freedom and equality are the soul of a nation. Without them, it folds into itself and sometimes never recovers

GetEqual Gets Together; Lt Dan Choi Case On Hold...

 

 

 

They came from all over America to plot, plan, share and celebrate. Near 100 activists came to Memphis for a retreat. Looking forward to the next year they are developing plans for direct action and visible protests to ensure the LGBT agenda is front and center.

The number attending and the fact they came from 25 states is impressive. GetEqual played an important role in the coalition to keep the debate around DADT visible and forcing elected officials to action. While at the retreat besides sharing experiences from their home states, they were trained in direct action by the respected United We DREAM and the Mid-South Peace and Justice Center.

As the participants were meeting in Memphis, Lt. Dan Choi was on trial for chaining himself to the White House fence. Refusing to pay a fine. He decided instead to challenge the law claiming it is important for those without power have the ability to engage in direct action in order to have their voices heard by everyone. Interestingly the Judge agreed that Choi had been singled out for 'malicious prosecution'. Have to agree with the jurist in this case. The case was put on hold.

One thing is clear. We are going to hear a great deal more from GetEqual and Lt. Dan Choi. As GetEqual's Director Robin McGehee said in an email, "I look forward to taking action with you all of them (the participants) and you soon!"

Chad Griffin: “True Lies”

 

 

 

A friend, following the recent debate over New York’s marriage equality bill, sent me an email with a simple question:

“Who are these people,” he asked, “who still fight tooth-and-nail to keep gay people from getting married?”

A few days later, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) announced they would spend $2 million to defeat senators who had voted for the New York bill.

As barriers continue to fall, bringing us closer and closer to a nation that truly realizes its promise of equal protection under the law, our opponents are digging in to hold the line.

Eighteen months ago, opening arguments began in a Federal District Courtroom in the case to overturn California’s Proposition 8. A year ago, Judge Vaughn Walker issued his verdict, declaring that Prop. 8 unconstitutionally denies gay and lesbian Californians their rights to equal protection and due process—rights fundamental to our national character.

In those 18 months since opening arguments, four states have passed laws guaranteeing all residents the freedom to marry. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed and the Defense of Marriage Act was ruled unconstitutional. T

he dark walls of discrimination are beginning to crumble.

Still, as my friend points out, there are people who want to keep those walls firmly in place. Make no mistake; no matter what the anti-gay forces say their goal is, they are committed to ensuring that gay and lesbian Americans are permanently relegated to second-class status. They believe we are less than our neighbors. They are vocal, they are well-funded and they are dedicated to their unjust cause.

They also know they are on the wrong side of history, which is why they have fought so hard to keep videotapes of the court proceedings under lock and key. Our opponents don’t want you to know who they are. They don’t want you to know that their case is built on nothing more than junk science, prejudice and fear.

So, back to my friend’s question. Who are these people?

NOM isn’t the only organization that thinks marriage needs to be “protected” or “defended,” but the organization, led by Brian Brown, is one of the most virulent in their anti-gay rhetoric.

“Show me who your friends are,” the old proverb states, “and I’ll tell you who you are.”

In the case to overturn Proposition 8, Perry v. Schwarzenegger, the defenders of inequality are represented by Alliance Defense Fund (ADF), a $34 million organization founded by Focus on the Family’s James Dobson and dedicated to the idea that “the homosexual agenda is the principal threat to American Freedom.”

Ron Prentice, who heads the ADF front-group ProtectMarriage, fired off a letter to companies that supported No on 8, threatening that "The names of any companies and organizations that choose not to donate in like manner to ProtectMarriage.com but have given to Equality California will be published.”

Andy Pugno, ProtectMarriage’s top lawyer, served on the staff of California Senator Pete Knight (author of California’s original anti-equality ballot measure, Proposition 22). Just a few months ago, he sought to have Judge Vaughn Walker’s verdict in the Perry case set aside claiming that because Judge Walker was gay and in a relationship with a man during the trial, he was therefore incapable of impartiality. Interesting that Pugno made that claim after having lost in District Court, especially since he said during the trial that he would not make an issue of Judge Walker’s sexual orientation.

Pugno’s despicable tactics were given full-throated support from blogger Ed Whelan. Whelan, who famously compared Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan to a prostitute, argued that gay jurists should have to either recuse themselves from cases or disclose “intimate details of their personal lives.”

These people represent themselves as patriots, but rather than striving to form a more perfect union, they seek to tear our nation apart. They claim to be guided by principles that portend the courage of their convictions, but there is evidence that even those convictions are phony.

And nowhere are their bigoted and merit less arguments more evident than in the case (or lack thereof) they presented at the Prop. 8 trial. No wonder they are fighting tooth-and-nail to keep the tapes of the trial locked away from the public.

They don’t want people to see that their star witness, anti-gay activist David Blankenhorn, had his testimony dismissed by the court as “unreliable and entitled to essentially no weight.” Or that his testimony included a shocking admission.

Under cross-examination, Blankenhorn acknowledged that allowing same-sex couples to marry would further the American dream of equality.

It’s time for the public to see the true lies and real identity of the Prop. 8 anti-marriage forces. Allowing everyone to see the videotapes of the Prop. 8 trial would be a good way to start.

Chad Griffin is one of the founders of the American Foundation for Equal Rights which is the lead organization on the Proposition 8 court case.

Bill Donius: Mariage Equality in Missouri?

 

 

 
 
The Gay Marriage win in New York brought tears to my eyes, even though I was sitting thousands of miles away on my couch in St. Louis, Missouri when I got the news alert. Decades ago I wondered if I would ever meet someone I would want to marry? Now since I have a great partner and am over 50, I wonder if I will able to be legally married in my lifetime, in my home state? As the state turns redder politically, it seems I see more red, emotionally.

What is it about the middle of the country that makes the LGBT community more difficult to accept? The 2010 census numbers report the obvious. In the Midwest it seems, there are fewer per capita identified LGBT people than the known bigger cities - Saint Louis City ranks the highest in per capita LGBT households in Missouri at just over 1%, yet this percentage pales to San Francisco’s 3%. The numbers appear to reveal the obvious. It’s easier to win acceptance if there is a bigger percentage and more visible community of LGBT folks within the general populous.

Which leads me to ponder just how important is one’s coming out to friends, family, neighbors and co-workers? As a native Midwesterner, my suspicion is fewer people are completely “out” in the Midwest. This may be a bit of the chicken and the egg. Folks may be less likely to come out because they fear rejection, job loss, discrimination in housing, violence in the form of hate crimes, etc. Conversely, if more people were out, it very well could be that public sentiment could sway to support the passing of protective laws we need, including marriage equality. But in the meantime – for perhaps all these reasons – we are less equal in Missouri. The arc of justice seems to have a longer slope in Missouri.

By way of background, I returned to Missouri twenty years ago. I decided I was ready to live my life the way I wanted to, even if it meant being the odd man out in corporate St. Louis. As the only openly gay CEO in town, I was initially uncomfortable with the designation. But over time, I learned it was an important opportunity. I handled the phone calls from upset customers over our float in the Pride parade, spouses who didn’t want their other halves working for a gay man, answered questions from those who had never met a gay person before (at least knowingly) and took the phone calls (and coffee meetings) from the formerly married who were now ready to come out. Would it surprise you to learn that all of that occurred over the past 5-7 years, and not decades ago?

After twenty years, I’ve not seen much progress on the legislative front in Missouri however. It feels like folks are more accepting of the LGBT community, but over the past year, two articles in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch drew literally hundreds of comments, many of them invoking biblical references. Many still consider being gay a choice, or a lifestyle choice, rather than an orientation.

Many Missouri LGBTs have worked hard to effect change and done their part. For me, that meant testifying before various Missouri State House and Senate Committees. I salute the state organization PROMO for their success in even getting hearings to occur. The resistance in the hearing room is commonly palpable. We’re not asking for a lot--simply a law that would make discrimination based on sexual orientation illegal and a law that would confront and end the bullying of children in schools. If you talk to legislators one on one they seem more open minded, but bring them together and the group dynamic takes over making progress difficult.

How do you reconcile all of this with the people who live in Missouri who are typically so welcoming and friendly? Coming from New York City, my partner was in awe when he relocated several years ago. So let’s live up to our moniker of the “The Show-Me” state! We must invest more time, money and energy showing the good people of this state the LGBT community is worthy, hard working, law abiding, tax paying citizens who deserve the same equal rights as all Missourians are promised. We can all do this by living an authentic life not just privately, but with our family and friends by coming out.

I’m proud of all those who were out and marching twenty years ago and today of the dramatically larger number elected to office, of others involved in a myriad of LGBT organizations and all those who are out and are great advocates at work and in their neighborhoods for the LGBT community. As a hedge, I’m investing my network of influence, time, money and energy in the federal candidates, and lobbying for federal policy changes, as I believe they may ultimately prove to be our saving grace. But I’m also not giving up on my home state. I have faith. I just don’t want to wait another twenty years to be able to marry in Missouri